Attention game journalists:
Can we stop overselling Flower please? Yes, it’s a lovely little game. Yes, it does a lot of interesting things with control. Yes, it has wonderful atmosphere and a nice message. But how about we let players discover these things for themselves? Do we really need to engage in a Most Embarrassing Hyperbole contest every time we talk about the game?
Here, I’ll help. Here’s a handy list for anyone planning to review, blog about, or otherwise cover the game:
Things Flower Does Not Do
- Redefines gaming forever
- Cures cancer
- Justifies, on its own, the purchase of a PlayStation 3
- Reverses global warming
- Personally fellates the player
- Magically turns your significant other into a gamer
- Rescues us from the post-holiday lull
- Saves the whales
- Feeds the hungry
- Allows you to stop considering other games for Game of the Year
- Sticks it to The Man
- Helps you clean your apartment, you filthy troll
- Brings about peace in the Middle East
- Takes the place of real flowers for your loved one
- Makes you any smarter, hipper, or more attractive
- Loves you
Things Flower Does
- Kills a couple hours in a soothing, and yet thought-provoking, fashion
- Surprises the player…if you people will let it
Thank you for your attention.
it won’t love me. :(
The picture you posted is gorgeous.
I would agree with you, Joe, because I bought it and thought, “This is nice, but not mind-blowing.” It’s innovative in presentation and concept, but Shadow of the Colossus it ain’t.